No coffee in the house
a terrible day
     the shopper forgot
and now
only tea and water

ignoring
a serious caffeine dependency
     manifesting as scowling at the cats
and
     the profound inability
to make decisions
take off pajamas
     get dressed
     get in car
     go to the store
go in PJ’s
don’t go and suffer

too much to think about
     too many voices
     clamoring to be heard
to be the loudest voice

take out the garbage
     its grey-can day
grabbing bags 
racing through the garage
spying
ancient hotel room coffee packets
     on the work bench
     age unknown

racing back to the kitchen
     fumbling with the pot
     adding water
adding my treasure

peace is coming

still in PJ’s
quietly looking at the garden 
aroma filling my senses
from the steaming cup 
all is good in the world

sitting on my porch at dusk
reading the news
     about the water shortage
in California

drinking water
     from a plastic bottle
     that was filled out there
and shipped here

thinking about me saving water
     seeing my new statement
     I used fewer gallons
I did my part
I helped

I’m planning to take a trip 
to Brooks City Base
     south of the city
to see the new bottling plant
filling plastic bottles
with our water
     to send somewhere
maybe California

remembering
the president of Nestles
saying humans have no rights
     to water 

tending plants
in my garden
watering in the morning
     before the sun
     tries to kill everything

I’m not meditating
I’m wondering
     if I take too much care
     like co-dependency
like with people?

I am planning their future
manifest control
     I feed them
what they need to eat
     and when
     breakfast at 7:30
don’t be late
     here is your lunch
     don’t forget it

I place each so carefully
where they are to live
I maximize their opportunities
     their time in the sun
     their shade
     their future
don’t go away to college
your first two years
     stay here
     at home
with me

People tend to get upset
after awhile
being told what to do’
     where to sit’
     what to eat
they strike back with
     obstinate refusal
     abandonment rejection

Plants are better balanced
they turn their faces toward the sun
and thrive

in silence

like slivers of glass
chards
small chunks
scattered on the floor
from the vase
that sat for years
on the table
in the living room
dusted off
when someone remembered
and now
in this present time
bumped dumped thrown tossed
on the floor
fractured
into thousands of tiny pieces
laying like pick-up-sticks
move one move many
lose a turn
too many names to remember
sheeple, wingnuts, fundie-Christians
the teabags, instant coffee, Nescafé, and progressives
the promise keepers, oath takers, God’s assassins,
independents, republicans, democrats
elephants and donkeys
black lives matter, well really black votes matter
Mexicans are illegal
rapists and murders
but like the ones that vote for us…they are fine
no moslems allowed
to be buried here
to consecrate this ground
I love Israel, I hate Israel
but I have good friends who are Jew
I’ve been to Jew wedding and eaten their food
and I know a gay guy

lets all carry guns
in the open
on our hips
so people know what we stand for

this fragmentation
is forever, now
the diaspora of community
manifest in the slivers and chards
no hand will set
no glue will bind
the vase that use to sit on the table
in the living room

The lights are growing dim
behind your eyes
your little cat body	
     full of life 
     yesterday
doing kitten things
     batting at motes
     hiding in the shadows
     of your box
     under the flaps
purring

listless today
     refusing to eat
     to drink
     no strength
     to hold your head up 
to move
to smile

I laid you out
on clean hand towels
     on the bed
     out of your box
and tried to feed you
	formula 
        or water 
        or honey

the lights behind your eyes
are growing dim